Boys don’t do ballet

Mollie’s best friend is four and loves dancing and dressing up, and dreams of one day becoming Jessie J.
He is also a boy.

Last week he came to Mollie’s ballet lesson and loved it. He’d looked forward to it all week and was so excited. He picked it up straightaway and was entranced for the whole 45 minutes. Which is a long time for a four year old boy to be entranced by anything! After the lesson they happily replayed what they had learnt, galloping up and down our lounge and discussing next week’s dancing.

But today I’ve been told that he won’t be coming to ballet again. Because his dad isn’t happy with the idea of his son doing ballet and would rather he do street dancing, or something a bit more… you know, macho.

I feel terribly sad on many levels. I’m sad that Mollie won’t have her best friend to dance with. I’m sad that her friend won’t be able to learn something that he so obviously enjoyed and had a talent for. I’m sad that the teacher won’t have a boy in the class anymore. And I feel guilty for taking him last week and showing them what they will now miss out on. But most of all I’m sad that his dad thinks that ballet is too ‘girly’ for his son.

Yes, he likes to dance and dress up. But he also likes to explore and play on his bike and with his football and in muddy puddles. The dance is just one side of his character, and one that his mum has been very careful to nurture equally with the rest. She has done a wonderful job of letting him be himself and express himself in a way that he chooses. He is a happy, creative, confident little boy because of it.

So why does his dad feel the need to stop his ballet? Does he think that male dancers aren’t masculine? That ballet will make his son gay? Maybe he should watch a ballet lift and see how strong the male dancers need to be. And, Dad, stopping ballet lessons won’t stop your son being gay. If he’s going to be gay, he’s going to be gay. And squashing any signs of anything effeminate will only teach him that he needs to hide them from you.
And he’s only four!

But you’re right, probably better to stop the ballet and send him to a street dance class. Where maybe you’ll be lucky and the boys will learn to be macho and strong and the girls will get taught to be sexy and silent.
Good luck with that.

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